How to breathe when someone you love doesn’t love you back.


In the human experience there is a spectrum of emotions that come with life. The highest highs of bliss and the deepest cuts of painful experience. One that cuts the deepest is to love someone that does not feel that love in return. Life can go on and a person can keep breathing with unrequited love. Step out of the trap one baby step at a time.

One helpful tool is to keep a journal. To say all of the things that are welling up to tell the object of your affections that may be inappropriate to tell them. This allows the freedom from such thoughts and allows the opportunity to put the words on paper to analyze and if needed to destroy. Sometimes ripping up such a letter allows a feeling of freedom to move on to a relationship that is mutually fulfilling.

When the mind movies of that special person float through your mind, especially at inopportune times, like during a class or a meeting that needs focus and attention. Simply take a deep breath and mentally send the love you feel to that person. In order to clear your mind and focus on life in the now and the present.

Get out and have fun. It is important to not be isolated thinking that there can be only one when that person doesn’t love you back. Mingle amongst the people, flirt a little, find ways to occupy your thoughts and rebuild personal confidence. This is a stage of personal empowerment and confidence makes a person that much more attractive. Who knows there just may be someone else out there who is more fun to flirt with and can blossom into a healthy mutual relationship?

Realize that it is no one’s fault and that you are a treasure. It is so important to be with a person that is happy to be with the real you. Where you can be all that you can be for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, those vows are there for a reason. The more real you are and the more your partner in love is willing to be there too the more wonderful the relationship will be. It is hard to be patient to meet that person, however it is so worth the wait.

In the meantime have fun with friends, perhaps get a pet, some furry friend that you can love and that can love you back. Don’t hide in a furry friend relationship though, never get up. Finding a mutually loving person is a contact sport go out and meet people and one day you will find the one that loves you back that can heal the pain caused by the one that didn’t.


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