Probably one of the most notable treasures of success is being able to look in the mirror and actually like the person looking back at you.
I am not just talking about the basic animalistic type of desire for self-preservation nor the shallow brand of self-love that comes with inflated ego, or narcissism. What I speak of is the same kind of gratification I imagine a sculpture to feel when they take a step back from a completed piece of work and look in wonder as they are able to say “I created that!”.
Each individual creates their life. The material s are thoughts they think, the decisions they make, the way each person chooses to interact with their environment, and each action creates something known to us as life. This life is a self-reflection onto the world.
How a person looks at themselves in the mirror can be very telling about if they genuinely like themselves. Choices are also very telling. People who make healthy decisions express through those choices that they like themselves. By putting the appropriate amount of fresh, high nutrient foods in their mouths to satisfy the physical body, consuming enriching thoughts to feed the mind and rich experience of giving, loving and beauty feeds the soul. These actions demonstrate the level to which a person likes themselves.
For some liking themselves is not a problem. Yet, for others who grew up in a critical house as a child it may not be as easy. For them it is important to make a list of the good things people have said over time. Things like positive job reviews, compliments and other good thoughts and make a list to review when the negative voices from the past want to control the current stream of thoughts. This is how successful, satisfied people are able to push their past back where it belongs and proceed with more confidence into the future.
The artist Pink has a great lyric in her song F***ing Perfect which says “Change the voices in your head. Make them like you instead.” This is so important. Only let the positive self thoughts remain and apply them to daily goals that work toward the outcomes that you wish to make happen in your life. In the end it comes down to you and you can do it.
When you don’t know how to proceed look at others who have succeeded in creating a similar goal to the one you wish to accomplish. Each day work to do at least one task toward achieving this goal. Each small success builds confidence and before you know it, it won’t be a chore to like yourself. The critical voices will become weaker and the confident voices will be the dominant thoughts going forward.
Some people need permission, so if you are one of those people I would like to give you permission today to like yourself. Start out by writing down three strengths that you have and post them where you can see them as you work throughout the day. Add three more the next day and the next for a month and see how long your list can become. If you need to count on people who give you positive support in your life to help add to the list. This will put you on your path to a more gratifying and satisfying life.