Tag Archives: living a satisfying life

Life isn’t always happy. Plan moments of happiness.

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Happiness and hard times can coexist like cactus and daisies.

 

It may not be shocking news to many of you that life is not always easy. There are times when circumstances of life avalanche a person in challenges leaving them feeling overwhelmed. Many reasons are presented why not to be happy, at peace, to live instead in emotional pain. I am not suggesting that we must numb or hide those feelings. It’s just that at some point a decision must be made because why live a miserable life? To me that seems like wasted time. I don’t want to be miserable do you? To dig myself out of the avalanche I plan moments of happiness.

Plan a small moment of happiness everyday. Make it a ritual. The whole world can go to heck in a hand-basket with things that are out of my control but I will have 5  minutes of happiness darn it! For me I have my morning hug with my youngest daughter. She comes and gives me a big hug and we check in with each other and talk. This is always a moment of happiness for me. We both look forward to it. After a grueling week this week, I loaded up the kids in the car and my cousin in-law came along too and we went to one of my favorite places in Northern Arizona. A place I tend to always feel happy. The picture above came from that place and the idea came to me that life doesn’t have to be one or the other, happiness and times of great challenge can coexist like the cactus and daisies do in this picture. It is possible but sometimes you have to make that happiness happen with planned moments of happiness.

As a side note about this place I learned from a park ranger there that scientists from the local university found that this area is located on a lay line. A lay line is a line of electromagnetic energy in the Earth that causes the ions of the air to become positively charged. These positive ions react with the body and make it feel better, think better, and work better. There was work done to prove this, which I will go into more detail about at another time. The point I’m making here is that by taking action to go to this place, I knew I would feel better. Find a similar place that you can go to. Do an activity you love to do. Be with people that you feel accepted, comfortable and at peace with and hang out. Get some good vibes and create a happy memory, a happy moment. Just one planned moment of happiness can go along way.

Until next time…

 

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It’s really simple, but it’s hard.

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My house the night of the fire

My house the night of the fire

Some readers follow me on the social network scene may know that there was a fire at my house last month.

News coverage of fire at my house

My meditation brought me to the place in the Christian Bible, which says “Ye shall know them by their fruit.” and my fruit was pretty good. Because although something bad, scary, completely unfair and wrong happened to me. I was okay, no one was hurt, and I was able to go on thinking in a positive and healthy way about the situation. Now I can share with you what I learned.

Worry. When something happens that is scary, wrong, unfair, and often completely unexpected, a person can take this as an opportunity to worry the rest of their life away. Now here comes the simple, but really hard part about life, especially life after tragedy… (drum-roll please) Are you ready to take notes? Ok here it is…. Live in the moment. Live in right now.

Oh man! How many times have you heard that before? It even comes on cheesy little plaques and everything. The thing is, it’s true. It’s exactly true. And here is another little bit that came to me and this is how it goes:

Several years ago my high school Psychology teacher Mr. Mason asked us a very important question “If something really bad happens to you, how much of your life are you willing to give to it?” I am not willing to give my entire life to something that happened in 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 30 minutes, 1 hour, 4 hours, 1 day, or 1 year. If the bad incident is actually happening in that period, then it is happening and it is out of a person’s control. The question is how much EXTRA beyond the time it took to happen are you willing to give the incident?

This is something a person has to ask themselves BEFORE a bad thing happens, so that when the fear, anxiety, anger flares up inside, when you are human it will flare up inside. The mental mechanism is there to say, “I won’t let it have any more of my life.” Take a deep breath and go back to now. Now is work. Now is hugging my kids. Now is enjoying a beautiful day. Now is doing the dishes. Whatever Now is I go back there and time moves on and things get easier, maybe not easier all the time, however life goes on I survive and even thrive with planned moments of happiness. This is how, despite bad things happening I can still live a satisfying life.

Planned moments of happiness is something I’ll talk about next time.

I wish you all the optimum of happiness in your experience.

Until next time…

I’ll live for you

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 Some songs throughout the ages, as well as poems and sonnets speak of a love so strong that someone says to another “I would die for you.”  It is indeed a strong declaration of love, to place his or her life in harm’s way in order for one’s beloved to live. At the same time and in some ways a more grandiose gesture of love could be to say, “I will live for you.”

A promise to preserve health to the best of one’s ability and to say I will take care of my health so that I may be with you for many years to come when you need me most. I will live so that we can face what the world has to offer––good or bad, together. I will live for you.

There are challenges offered by life that can make living seem like more of a challenge than dying. Getting up everyday trying to figure out the little nuances of life, the questions of life like “Where’s the food going to come from today?” “How is the myriad of things that must be done going to get done?” This reality coupled with the stresses of life that can be so prevalent today that makes living for someone so much more of a declaration of love than dying for them.

This is not to take away from the awesome sacrifice made by a soldier or first responder. People that place themselves on the front-line to protect those they love or die for honor. Yet to forgo the indulgence of destructive vices and excessive behaviors rather than to fight for one’s health in order to be there for those you love when they need you most also holds the hero’s reward that comes with acts of courage and fortitude.

So, if you really love someone, perhaps saying “I’ll die for you” is not the greatest proclamation of love. Maybe that greatest oath of love a person can make is “I’ll live for you.”

Don’t let it go to waste.

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After I finish this post I’m going to eat a slice of the pumpkin pie I have in the fridge, with plenty of whipped cream.

It’s been sitting there for two days now, untouched. There’s nothing wrong with it, I’ve just been waiting for the right time to eat it. I placed a plethora of rules onto the experience. Some are internal some ingrained from growing up.

The rules of law for pumpkin pie eating include but are not limited to:

  • Not too early in the day
  • Not before we  eat a nutritious meal first (can’t fill up on pie before dinner)
  •  Oh now it’s too close to bed, don’t want to eat it right before bed.

So this goes on until, if I don’t act on it, the pie will mold in the fridge and I’ll have to throw it out. It becomes a missed opportunity to have an enjoyable life experience.

Now it’s wasted.

The reason why I bring all of this up to you is that I thought to myself, do we place too many rules on our pleasures of life, so much so that our life wastes away without enough of these enjoyable moments.  Rules like, I can’t play with the kids until this or that is done, now they are napping, now it’s time to start dinner. Or  I was going to snuggle with my husband but that article still isn’t written and I haven’t checked email all day, maybe something important I’m missing, now he’s on to something else that he needs to do. I have these blessings before me but if I don’t take the time to engage them, those precious opportunities can also be wasted, just like the pie, they are perishable.

It’s good to be mindful about enjoying the good times when they present themselves, it seems they can be too few and far between many times. The more of these small moments we seize and make the most of, the more satisfying memories will be available to reflect on in the end. Now, for some pie.

What are you doing? Manage your time, manage your life.

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Have you ever stopped to ask yourself  “What am I doing?”  Why are you doing a specific action at a particular time?

It’s interesting to break-down how people use time.  What is the difference in actions between the way a transient person uses time and a billionaire? The way a stay-at-home parent uses time and how a corporate executive uses time? How a celebrity uses time and how an office worker uses time?  The way we use our time ultimately defines what kind of life we have to look back on, when we reflect on the life created by these consecutive moments, how time is used can have a major impact in the arena of material success, how a person uses their time is a fundamental  factor in a person’s chances of success.

In the poem I Was Going to Live My Dream But… I illustrate the many little time takers a person encounters in their day. This is written from the point of view of  a wife and mother, however it’s easily transferable to any life and the specific fill-in-the-blanks tasks that make up a  day’s worth of time.

Time is a precious commodity. As we get older time practically vaporizes before us, and once in awhile a moment will happen that causes a person to take note of just how many years have flown by. Those years, all made up of tiny moments, are reflected on, and the question inevitably comes “What did I do with that time?”

So what’s the point? What is the point of the tasks that take up a day? What goals do these actions make happen? What results come from these actions? Is it what you want? Are you happy? It’s  good  to be mindful of questions like these as the day goes by to make sure you are getting the most of every moment. Especially in today’s world of technology with literally thousands of methods of distraction available to us in an instant a person can lose a lot of time without a satisfying return on investment from how that time was spent.  It takes discipline, discipline  in thought and action in order to have satisfying experience of life.  Discipline becomes at the same time the most difficult thing to do and the most important thing to do when achieving goals to live a satisfying life.

Discipline has a negative connotation, as if something is being taken away– Freedom stolen.  This is not the case. Discipline is simply a path, like digging a canal that flows to the life a person wants, time can be much like water. Water can cause a lot of damage when it’s not channeled through a canal, at best it lazily floods and makes a big mess, at its worst it can be highly destructive, but all of that can be avoided with proper channeling of the water flow. Once water is channeled within a canal, it can irrigate a field, or serve as a water source, even create power if attached to a hydro-electric device.  Channeling the water makes it productive and the same is true with time. Daily schedules help combat distraction, and when teamed with a reasonable to-do list which is  marked by priority, a day’s worth of time begins to take shape. Much like a canal,  the schedule gives a path to time that causes something to be produced with it. Consulting  schedules and to-do lists  lends  guidance to decide what activity should be going on in a particular moment in order to reach a goal and feel satisfied at the end of the day.

These are merely guidelines of course,  as the day unfolds its undoubted that the schedule and list will go through alterations,  however there is still a course that can be returned to and priority tasks can be completed.

Make a list of all the time stealers in your schedule. Which stealers can be removed from your schedule by either delegating them, deleting them or managing them more effectively. For example social media like Facebook and Twitter can steal a lot of time if you let it, but with a timer beeping when allotted time is over, and by limiting access to it by only checking at designated times of day (this can apply to email as well), one can have more time for productive work with a good return on time invested.

It is important to make not only financial or material goals but also personal and social goals as well. Spending time with family, having fun, self improvement and care time are included in the list of what must be done. With the guide of a schedule and to-do list and with discipline to channel the use of time, one’s daily actions can produce a very happy and satisfying life.